


A Long Night Spent With Your Most Obvious Weakness

by bunbun404



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Graphic Description of Purging, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Purging, TRIGGER WARNING BULIMIA, gerard is bulimic, revenge Frank, revenge Gerard - Freeform, trigger warning eating disorders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:33:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22606318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunbun404/pseuds/bunbun404
Summary: TRIGGER WARNING: BULIMIA, ALCOHOL ABUSE, REFERENCED SELF HARM SCARSGerard has the worst day imaginable and turns to his worst coping mechanisms. After filling Gerard's voicemail, Frank decided to drop by and make sure his friend is okay. Little does he know this late-night visit will change the course of their lives forever.kinda badly written vent fic but whatever
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Kudos: 62





	A Long Night Spent With Your Most Obvious Weakness

**Author's Note:**

> I'm having a tough week and I needed to vent so I wrote this. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THESE THINGS!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVE AN ED OR ARE WORRIED YOU MIGHT RELAPSE!!!!! GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF PURGING AHEAD!!!!! AS WELL AS NEGATIVE SELF-TALK AND REFERENCE SELF HARM SCARS!!!!! PLEASE STAY SAFE ILY!!!!! YOU ARE STUNNING AND ILY, YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED AND HAPPY!!!!!!
> 
> Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention 1-800-931-2237
> 
> Eating Disorders Center 1-888-236-1188
> 
> National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders 1-847-831-3438
> 
> The title is from MakeDamnSure by Taking Back Sunday :)

“I’m sorry son, but we have to let you go. The store isn’t doing so well and we can’t afford your salary.” Mr. Toro, Gerard’s newly-former boss, sighed and put his hand comfortingly on the other man’s shoulder. Gerard just stared at him in shock; he had worked at the Toro’s bookstore for nearly four years now. The pay wasn’t great, but it allowed him to pay for art school and a tiny apartment, not to mention he got to read comics and hang out with his childhood best friend, Ray Toro, during his lunch breaks. 

“I understand sir,” Gerard smiled weakly, “I hope things get better.”

Mr. Toro returned his sentiment, and Gerard awkwardly left the store, shouldering his bag and trying not to cry on the walk back to his apartment. He trudged through the cold sleet, his hoodie, and jeans barely enough to shield him from the shitty weather. Februaries in New Jersey were never known for their balmy weather, and today was no exception. By the time Gerard reached the door to his building, he was soaked to the bone and shivering violently. He marched up the stairwell and made his way to his little apartment. He let out a little sob as he shut the door, the realization that he didn’t have a source of income dawning on him. 

“How am I gonna pay rent...” Gerard whispered as he sank to the floor, wet hair falling in his face as he stared at his hands resting in his lap. He stood up, tears beginning to spill from his eyes, and made his way to the cabinet he dedicated to his stash of liquor. He pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels and drank straight from the glass bottle, the burning in his throat soothing his heavy heart. He heard his phone buzz, but after taking a couple more swigs Gerard decided to ignore it. Gerard sat on the kitchen floor for a couple of hours, cycling through crying fits, draining bottles of alcohol, stuffing his face with stale off-brand cheerios, and singing old Smashing Pumpkins songs to the spiders on the wall. 

Upon emptying the box of cereal, Gerard realized what he had done. The numbers buzzed through his head, sobering him up a bit. At least 8,000 calories for the alcohol Gerard thought to himself as he stumbled into the bathroom, his head spinning. He could hear his phone buzzing again. Damn thing. Gerard looked at himself in the mirror, his greasy dyed black hair, his skin in need of some moisturizer, his chapped lips, his bloodshot eyes, and worst of all; the size of his body. He let out a little despaired whimper as he stripped off his hoodie and shucked off his jeans, eyeing the way his shirt clung to his torso. He dropped to the floor and crawled to the toilet, lifting up the seat and resting his weight onto his knees. He pushed his hair as back as it would allow him and he sighed as he rested his elbow onto the seat cover, preparing himself for what was about to come next.

“Fat fuckin’ pig… don’t deserve food...” he sputtered out and shoved his index and middle fingers down his throat. He had to strain against the width of his mouth, his gag reflex had moved far down his esophagus due to months of this secret hurt. Finally, he hit it a couple of times and he slipped his fingers out just as alcohol and half-digested cheerios came spewing out. Gerard felt tears well up in his eyes and he tasted his stomach acid on his fingers as he slipped them in again, this time he accidentally bit the top of his hand when he hit his gag reflex, leaving angry red marks. He kept going until he was dry heaving, and Gerard swore he heard someone open the door to his apartment, but the blood rushing in his ears and the sound of his heavy breathing drowned it out.

“Hey dumbfuck, you left your apartment unlo-” A familiar voice said, stopping suddenly. Gerard wearily looked to the doorframe, falling onto his ass when he saw his friend Frank standing there, dumbfounded. ”Holy shit man.” His voice turned soft, and he dropped to Gerard’s side, wrapping an arm around him and pulled him into a sitting position. 

Gerard groaned and slumped forward, prompting Frank to rub his back. “Rough day, huh?” Frank joked, then he noticed the slime on Gerard’s cherry red index and middle fingers.

“Oh my god, dude.” Frank whispered, horror playing across his pretty face. Gerard said nothing, looking away in shame and regret. Frank pulled him into a tight hug, trying not to wince when his nose brushed against a streak of vomit-soaked hair. “It’s gonna be okay, Gee. It’s gonna be okay.” Frank rocked him slightly, rubbing his back when he noticed a sob wrack through Gerard. 

“C’mon man, let’s get you cleaned up.” 

Frank pulled Gerard to his feet, still holding him tight. Gerard wrapped his clean arm around Frank and balled his fist in the shorter man’s sweater. Frank pulled away from the hug, keeping his hands firmly on Gerard’s waist to keep him steady. Gerard was coherent enough to wash his hands and rinse his mouth out with mouthwash. Frank turned on the shower and helped Gerard out of his sweaty clothes. Frank bit back a gasp when he saw little white, red, and scabby lines decorate Gerard’s upper thighs. He figured it was a conversation for later, and he helped his friend into the shower. Frank searched for some clean pajamas while Gerard showered, keeping alert in case he slipped. Gerard seemed pretty wasted despite emptying the alcohol from his stomach.

Once he heard the water stop, Frank hurried over to the door and waited until Gerard opened the door, towel lazily wrapped around himself. Frank handed him the clothes and waited for Gerard to open the door again. After ten minutes, Frank gently opened the door and saw Gerard sitting on the floor, his head in his hands, crying. Frank knelt down by him, wrapping his arms around him.

“‘M sorry you had t’ see me like this...” Gerard trailed off, feeling like a piece of shit. 

Frank let out a shaky sigh as he pulled Gerard to his feet. Frank led him to his bed and sat down. Gerard sat down next to him, head spinning. “You’re so damn pretty Gerard, if only you could stop being a dumbass and realize it.” Frank whispered, a tear falling down his cheek. Gerard wished he was drunker, his head was beginning to clear up and fill with guilt. 

“Frank, I-” Gerard cut himself off, not knowing what to say. He reached over and squeezed Frank’s hand, a little unnerved when Frank squeezed back. “Thanks man, for takin care of me. I ‘ppreciate it. You don’t have t’ stay if you don’t wanna. You don’t have t’ stay my friend, I know this shit’s gross.” Gerard said, shaking a little.

“Dude, what the fuck? I’m not gonna leave you here alone! I… I can’t. I don’t trust you on your own right now.” Frank crawled onto the bed and laid down, motioning for Gerard to do the same. Gerard apprehensively joined him, flinching a little when Frank’s arms snaked around his waist. Gerard sighed as he laid his head onto Frank’s chest, hearing the other man’s erratic heartbeat. He managed to fall asleep before he could hear Frank whisper into his hair “I love you.”

Gerard woke in the morning with a splitting headache. He realized there was another person in his bed, and it was Frank! Their legs were tangled and their bodies were pressed close. Gerard’s head rested under Frank’s chin, and his arms clung protectively around him. He could feel Frank snoring slightly, and despite the headache, he finally felt safe. That is, until, he remembered why Frank was in his bed, clinging to him like he was a fragile little animal. Shame and regret washed over Gerard and he groaned, tucking his head closer into Frank’s chest.

Frank stirred at Gerard’s movement, and he opened his eyes to see Gerard tucked into him. He smiled a little and kissed the top of his head. Gerard looked up at him and saw his face go pink. “I, uh-” Frank started, but Gerard cut him off with a kiss. Frank made a little noise of surprise before kissing back. Gerard shuffled up and put his hand onto Frank’s cheek, deepening the kiss a little. Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard’s waist and pulled him into a sitting position, pulling away from the kiss. He bumped their foreheads together and got out of the bed. Gerard shivered at the sudden loss of warmth, and he wrapped a blanket around himself. 

“What’re you doing?” he mumbled, head spinning. “Makin’ tea.” Frank called back.

“Make me some coffee?” Gerard asked hopefully, he needed something to wake him up from this nightmare-turned-dream. 

“No can do, man.” Frank sighed, “Coffee’s acidic, it’ll only hurt your throat more. Tea’s got caffeine in it though.”

Gerard blanched at the realization that Frank also remembered the events of last night. He fell back on the bed in shame, looking away when Frank returned with two cups of earl grey, one with honey. “‘M so sorry you saw me like that...” Gerard mumbled, rolling onto his side.

“Man, it’s okay. You don’t need to be embarrassed. Everybody’s got their habits.” Frank sounded nervous like he was trying to be gentle with Gerard. “I’ve done some pretty shitty things too, man. I wanna help you through this.” Frank put his hand on Gerard’s shoulder, and Gerard rolled over to face him. He had tears in his eyes and a smile plastered on his face. 

“Frankie that’s the kindest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” Gerard admitted, looking with admiration at him.

“Well don’t get used to it, asshole.” Frank laughed and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek.

“I love you Gee”

“I love you too, Frankie.”

“We’ll get through this together.”

**Author's Note:**

> YOU ARE STUNNING AND ILY, YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED AND HAPPY!!!!!!
> 
> Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention 1-800-931-2237
> 
> Eating Disorders Center 1-888-236-1188
> 
> National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders 1-847-831-3438


End file.
